Commentary: What Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ doesn’t tell you about arranged marriage

Commentary: What Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ doesn’t tell you about arranged marriage

I was in the middle of an editorial meeting at the newspaper I worked for in when it came out of nowhere: an overwhelming sense of fear, the trembling hands, the absolute certainty that my heart was going to burst out of my chest. It would be years before I understood that what I had experienced that day — and would on three subsequent occasions — was a panic attack. I was 24, and just two hours before, my parents had called to ask me to be home on time that night. I had no intention of watching it. I had been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt and made a bonfire from it. It is a practice that is followed in several Middle Eastern countries, Japan and Turkey, among others. They all came recommended through friends and family, that larger collective that works very hard to bring together not two individuals but two families — mirror images of one another, both wearing a thick cloak of respectability going back generations — into a union, under the guise of pragmatism, that promotes caste and economic hegemony. Vyasar, as he worries throughout the show, would have indeed found the going very tough. What did I mean I was uncomfortable with the questions he asked? I should give him the benefit of doubt: marriage is a compromise.

We Need to Talk About ‘Indian Matchmaking’

The second I saw Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking come up on my TV’s home screen, I excitedly texted a bunch of my Desi friends to see if they’d heard anything about it. I’m not saying that there weren’t any stereotypes that caught me off guard on the show like some of the character’s fake accents or the opening scene where Devi’s praying over a book for good grades , but there were some moments that really hit home for me in the coming-of-age comedy.

While I was excited to see something related to the Indian culture get the spotlight yet again, it sort of felt like a personal secret was about to be exposed to the world. I was a little worried how Indians would be portrayed, especially to people who aren’t familiar with a culture where arranged marriages are considered the norm.

In India, Don’t Hate the Matchmaker. A Netflix hit about arranged marriages reflects Indian society a lot more than critics want to admit. By. Shruti.

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Mixing documentary modes with dating show ridicule, it maintains and masks the most insidious injury arranged by marriage: caste. In the arranged marriage institution, proposals are familial, not individual. Parents organize heterosexist matches for their adult children from a shortlist of vetted candidates. The aim is an alliance between families. The currency of exchange is women.

This Houston lawyer is the star of Netflix’s hit show ‘Indian Matchmaking’

Watch the video. Title: Indian Matchmaking —. A four-part documentary series following young adults on the autism spectrum as they explore the unpredictable world of love, dating and relationships. A Suitable Girl follows three young women in India struggling to maintain their identities and follow their dreams amid intense pressure to get married. The film examines the women’s complex relationship with marriage, family, and society.

Pradhyuman of ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ Reacts to Questions on His Sexuality. Combination photograph of Pradhyuman in the show.

I can give her…95 marks out of It is reflective, sometimes painfully, of a custom with which we are all too familiar: arranged marriages. For desis, either your parents were arranged or you know a couple that was. Some people—yep, even millennials—willingly enter into arranged marriages, as seen on the new reality show. While the show portrays arranged marriages in a positive although at times, vulnerable light, it simultaneously showcases the problems plaguing the ancient tradition—problems that Netflix account holders across America were quick to point out.

The casual, rampant racism on IndianMatchmaking is wild, and I fear fair will fly right over the heads of all the white people watching. The super-popular show has garnered criticism for its messages of colorism , classism, and body-shaming. I mean, take your pick. So why are brown people, like myself, forced to answer for a cultural institution I played no part in creating? The uncomfortable truth is that while these shows perpetuate equally harmful ideas about love and marriage, Indian Matchmaking confirms biases against Indian cultures, making it easier to criticize.

No one looks at Western reality shows as representative of white, American dating culture. So why do people think Indian Matchmaking is representative of dating and relationships for all brown people? We were the ones who dreaded the backlash from before the show dropped on Netflix, and we will be the ones to pick up the pieces after the show subsides from the zeitgeist. Anyone with even the slightest brown tint to their pigmentation has probably been asked for their thoughts on the controversial show.

‘Indian Matchmaking’ Season 2 Is Going to Change in One Important Way

Five years ago, I met with a matchmaker. I went in scornful. Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited her lengthy questionnaire, I grasped, if just for a beat, why people did things this way. Do you believe in a higher power? No idea.

Shekar Jayaraman, a Chicago lawyer, didn’t watch any dating shows before he joined “Indian Matchmaking,” now streaming on Netflix. “I’m not.

Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody. A cheerful year-old Guyanese-American dancer with Indian roots who simply wants to find a good person to be her husband.

These are some of the singles on the new Netflix original series Indian Matchmaking , a reality TV show about arranged marriages in Indian culture. The show follows Sima Taparia, a professional matchmaker from Mumbai, as she jets around the world, quizzing clients on their preferences, handing them “biodatas” for potentially compatible mates that’s the term she uses for what seem to be a cross between a resume and a dating profile and ultimately introducing them to prospective spouses.

Sima Taparia right is a jet-setting matchmaker from Mumbai. Here she confers with astrologer Pundit Sushil ji, who helps her come up with prospective mates for her clients. The eight-part series, which premiered on July 16, follows the participants as they navigate awkward first dates and meetings with the families of their matches. It became popular almost instantly in the U.

Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ raises questions about arranged marriage

The show follows the lives of Indian individuals trying to get married through a matchmaker based in Mumbai, Sima Taparia. Indian Matchmaking is regressive in terms of a lot of aspects, be it the blatant colourism, casteism or the misogynistic views of Sima herself, but at the same time, many have found it undeniably binge-watchable. Indian Matchmaking follows the lives of Indian individuals trying to get married through a matchmaker based in Mumbai, Sima Taparia.

For me, after finishing the show, a sort of guilt manifested inside my head. The fact that I had enjoyed the humour and looked past the controversial aspects of Indian Matchmaking was something that kept bothering me. This documentary looked at matchmaking too, but this time without the comedy or the quirky frills, with its focus on three women struggling to cope with the pervasive pressure to find a spouse.

Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking followed Mumbai’s best matchmaker (in her own words) Sima Taparia help single Indians find their spouse.

Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.

In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride. Indian Matchmaking smartly reclaims and updates the arranged marriage myth for the 21st century, demystifying the process and revealing how much romance and heartache is baked into the process even when older adults are meddling every step of the way.

Though these families use a matchmaker, the matching process is one the entire community and culture is invested in.

For Chicago lawyer, life after ‘Indian Matchmaking’ has been ‘an adjustment’

Laney College football was the feature of the fifth season of “Last Chance U,” a Netflix series that takes you into the season of junior college football programs. Tips for staying safe during and after a wildfire. Full Story.

But her apparent unsuitability for the dating world makes her a perfect subject for Indian Matchmaking, which follows Mumbai–based matchmaker.

One of Netflix’s newest reality series Indian Matchmaking gives viewers a glimpse into the world of arranged marriages and Indian culture. Specifically, the show, which was filmed in , follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia and her partner-seeking clients as they navigate the tricky world of dating and compatibility. While the show has been met with notable criticism and sparked important conversations about colorism, casteism, and sexism, the series has quickly become a popular watch on the streaming service.

After seeing all eight episodes, many are left wondering what happened to the stars after the cameras stopped rolling. In case you’re curious, here’s an update on where each of Sima’s clients are today, and whether or not they’ve since found love after Indian Matchmaking :. One of the first individuals introduced on Indian Matchmaking , the Houston native appears to be living her best single life today. While she was optimistic that things with Jay might go somewhere, she told Oprahmag. We’re good friends,” she told the publication about continuing to talk to three of her matches from the show.

You just need an ice cream cone. What’s more, she’s continuing to rule the world as a lawyer and run her travel company, My Golden Balloon. Though the coronavirus pandemic has made it tough for Aparna to meet another potential match, she said she’d be “open” to the possibility of meeting someone on Zoom. Viewers first rooted for Nadia and Vinay Chadha when they connected over their shared hatred of ketchup. Then, shockingly, it looked like Vinay ghosted Nadia out of the blue.

That said, however, Vinay claimed on Instagram that it was actually the other way around.

Indian Matchmaking

My reputation among friends is the guy who never watches TV. In fact, I was intimately aware of the rigmarole, having grown up in a religious Hindu family in India. A same-sex arrangement was unimaginable.

Aparna Shewakramani is a Houston native starring in Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaker.”.

Skip to Content. People are matched in hopes of finding suitable marriage partner; marriage is marker of success in matchmaking process. Much of the advice given to women when trying to find compatible matches can be considered sexist; preferences for other attributes can be interpreted as racist or classist both within Western and Indian circles.

Clients range from being inflexible in their criteria to being unwilling to commit. Parents often state that all they want is happiness for their son or daughter, but then reveal very specific criteria for their future son- or daughter-in-law. Alcoholic beverages wine, champagne, cocktails are sometimes consumed during social gatherings and dates.

One date makes a point of noting that he doesn’t drink alcohol. Parents and caregivers: Set limits for violence and more with Plus.

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Instead, I laughed at hilarious scenes between Indian American families redolent of my family. Released on July 16, this Netflix original is produced by the Oscar-nominated documentary filmmaker Smriti Mundhra, who communicates a middle way between arranged marriages and modern dating. I am in the second camp and let me tell you why.

Indian Matchmaking is another notch in Netflix’s reality-dating-show belt. A well-lit​, well-produced, empathetic docuseries, it follows matchmaker.

CNN Smriti Mundhra is not at all bothered that people are talking about colorism, sexism and elitism when it comes to “Indian Matchmaking. Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what’s happening in the world as it unfolds. More Videos Why the Netflix show ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ is causing a stir She is the creator of the hit Netflix series that offers an inside look into the work of Sima Taparia, a Mumbai-based matchmaker who travels the world helping her client find their “life partners.

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